Why fighting keeps you stuck

What are the things you FIGHT against?

Corruption? Inequality? Abuse? Or maybe even parts of yourself that you try to avoid?

It's human nature to want to stand up against injustice, to fix what's wrong in the world, and to change what feels broken. But what if, in the process of fighting, we are unknowingly contributing to the very thing we are trying to overcome?

As Anthony de Mello wisely pointed out, “When you fight something, you're tied to it forever. As long as you're fighting it, you're giving it power. You give it as much power as you are using to fight it.” This idea strikes at the core of our instinctive desire to resist and combat the forces that seem to stand in our way. But think about it—how much energy do we spend fighting against the things we don't want, versus nurturing the things we do want?

The more we focus on resistance, the more we empower what we’re fighting against. Resistance, by its very nature, often serves to strengthen the very force we wish to dismantle. It’s like a tug-of-war—pulling harder on your end of the rope only makes the opposition pull harder, too. The cycle continues, and before we know it, we’re locked in an endless struggle, giving more and more power to what we oppose.

This is where I often find myself reflecting on the Law of Correspondence: As within, so without. The battles we fight in the world are often mirrors of the unresolved conflicts we carry within ourselves. The chaos we see outside reflects the inner turmoil we haven’t fully addressed. The injustice we seek to correct may be a reflection of the ways in which we haven’t yet come to terms with our own wounds. The abusive behaviors we see in others might echo our own unhealed pain.

What if the endless fight for peace, justice, or harmony is futile because it starts from a place of resistance? What if the more we fight for peace, the further it slips away from us? The harder we struggle, the more elusive our goals become. Maybe true peace doesn’t come from winning battles or overcoming external forces. Maybe it begins inside, with the way we relate to ourselves, our emotions, and the parts of us we’ve been avoiding or fighting.

What if peace isn’t something we attain through struggle, but rather something we cultivate within ourselves? By acknowledging our inner conflicts and embracing them with compassion, we allow a different kind of energy to emerge—one that doesn’t feed into resistance, but instead nurtures healing.

Instead of fighting against corruption, what if we focused on cultivating integrity within ourselves? Instead of battling inequality, what if we worked to recognize and honor the inherent worth in ourselves and others? Instead of pushing back against abuse, what if we created environments where love and kindness naturally flourish?

This is not to say that we should turn a blind eye to the world’s problems or avoid taking action against injustices. But the energy with which we approach these battles matters. When we fight with resistance, we often perpetuate the very cycles we aim to break. When we act from a place of inner peace and clarity, however, we have the power to transform not only the world around us but also ourselves in the process. True change begins within.

So, what if the key to ending the battle is to stop fighting? What if the way forward is not through force but through understanding and inner alignment? Peace may not be something we conquer, but something we become. As within, so without.